Valentine’s: don’t let it grind you down



Source: Pic Monkey


Should we talk about that day that’s coming up? I think it begins with a V or something. I mean you probably don’t know what I’m on about because you know it’s not been advertised at all really. Serious eye roll. I think you’d have to be living under a rock to not know what I’m skitting at because even I who lives in a duvet fort have been inundated with adverts all over social media. There’s no escape unless that is the wifi went belly up and I really don’t want that to happen.

But how does all this advertising make you feel? Loved up? All warm and fuzzy? Or depressed and lonely? Does seeing red, literally make you see red or make your cheeks glow red in a loved up blush. Or perhaps somewhere in between those extremes? Are you in fact completely oblivious to it all, letting it all wash over your head and carrying on about your day to day life as normal.

Confession time, I have never in my 30 and a bit years on this planet received a Valentine’s card or gift (I have had Galentine’s cards and gifts, though, because friends are the best.) I know, I know woe is me and bless my poor, poor soul. Lavish me in sympathy. But you know what it really doesn’t depress me. Yes, I’d very happily accept a box of Milk Tray from a man in a tux (or a Pasha mask, or Pasha himself), but they can feel free to do that on any day of the year or indeed every day of the year, not simply because ‘social etiquette’ says they have to show more affection on a certain day.

Because here’s the thing personally I think love in all its forms shouldn’t only be celebrated on one day a year but each and every day. I mean do you only tell your Mum you love her on Mother’s day? Or like me tell them every 5 minutes? Of course, I have to get her something on Mother’s day too because usually, she gives my siblings and I a list so perhaps that’s not the best example but you know what I mean. And heck she deserves it. Surely you can never tell someone you love and appreciate them enough. And not to be morbid but many a grieving person has uttered the words ” I wish I’d have told them I loved them more.” So do it! Say it. Show it. Love unashamedly and wholeheartedly. Life is far too short and unexpected not to.

Because which would you rather, to celebrate love simply because it’s Valentine’s day or celebrate love, well simply because? Regardless of the date. Aren’t little (or big) gestures ‘just because’ just the sweetest?

I guess there are also other significant dates you’d tend to celebrate more such as an anniversary but those dates are far more personal to your own love story than an imposed date. Unless of course, you have an anniversary on Valentine’s day, which I’m sure many people do.

Perhaps I’m approaching this though as someone that has been single (I’m loathed to say a single Pringle because since when can you only have one Pringle? And I don’t even particularly like them) for a long time. Maybe if I was all loved up and in a relationship I’d turn into a Valentineaholic, leaving not so subtle hints about where I wanted to go and the exact present I had better receive, or else. Cursing Ann Summers for not stocking anything in my bra size. Who knows? But somehow I doubt it. Because personally unless I felt loved every single day with plenty of ‘just because’ moments then you know what I’m better off single. Does the single ladies dance. Call me old fashioned, or a fantasist or whatever that’s just how I feel. I simply don’t want to be in a half-assed relationship, simply because being single is something to be ashamed about. Because it really isn’t. It’s not even as if I feel unloved because I have some amazing people in my life (hi Mum, I know you’re reading) that show such love and kindness every day. Therefore I will not let Valentine’s advertising make me feel bad about that. And yes I do know my body clock is ticking on, thank you very much. Or that my twenties and therefore my time for gallivanting has now passed. Again with the eye rolling. Admittedly First Dates Hotel does look tempting but that’s mostly for the hotel itself and for a cuddle with Fred of course.

And whilst I’m on a mini rant, what is with some of the terminology surrounding relationships? My other half being a particular bugbear. You are no one’s other half because, you, yourself are not half, you are a whole, you better believe it and you do not need another half to be complete. You should never rely on others to make you feel complete, no matter how much you love them. Rather, be with someone that loves you completely and loves you for exactly who you are, as a whole. And of course, that the feeling is mutual.

So I guess my point is no matter how much everywhere you turn the world is telling you that Valentine’s is a big deal, remember that you deserve to be made to feel special for more than one day a year. If you are feeling glum though use it as a catalyst to reflect on the loves that you do have in your life, not one’s that you don’t have, whether that’s your parents, siblings or your best mates. Use it to make more of an effort to tell someone, anyone, that you love them. Heck, even tell yourself that you love you, for you are important and worthy of self-love too. Or why wait, tell them right now and tell them often.

So here goes:

Pasha, I love you!

And I also love you, yes you, for reading this. Sending you a very big thank you.

What are your thought’s on Valentine’s day? Let me know in the comments.


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